Mattias & Jayne – Part Two!

As promised, here is the second half of my Mattias/Jayne interaction. I hope you like it and if there are things that you notice could be better, awesome! It’s good to write and practice on your own, but it can be helpful to see/analyze the good and bad in other peoples’ writing as well. Take a minute to see what sounded natural in the story and what didn’t. Why did those parts stand out to you? Remember, nothing is bad. It’s just a work in progress! Hopefully some of this helps/helped you somewhat. Now, before I type your ears off (that’s a weird phrase, but go with it) here’s my ink, nice and fresh:


The damn librarian was eyeing me again. She hated when I came in here and always found some reason to try and kick me out. Well that was not happening today. I’d kick up a fuss if she tried anything nasty today and she’d have to back down. I was so focused on her, I didn’t realize that some twerp was trying to talk to me. He looked like he had barely hit puberty and he was freakishly gangly. I rolled my eyes and turned up the volume on my headphones and tuned him out. I’d been playing Solitaire on the computer for maybe 3 minutes before he tried to get my attention again. He was persistent and I wanted to tell him off, but that would send the librarian swooping down. I didn’t need the hassle, so I cocked one headphone off my ear and gave him my best ‘what the hell do you want?’ face. He didn’t seem to notice and immediately launched into some long drawn out story. Halfway through I put my headphones back on and went back to my game. Thankfully, he got the hint that time and I was left in peace for the next few hours.

When he got up to leave, he turned to wave at me like we were friends or something. I just stared until he walked away. Some people really couldn’t help sticking their noses into other people’s business. It wasn’t like I was wearing a sign saying ‘Come talk to me!’ or anything. Damn. I felt a tap on my shoulder and whipped around. The kid was there again and took a step back out of surprise. Could he really not take a hint??

“What the hell do you want? I’m trying to mind my own business and you can’t stop bugging me for five minutes!” Even though I was getting aggressive, he didn’t bat an eye.

“In class today, we learned about the warning signs of depression and loneliness and you seemed like you showed a bunch of them, so I wanted to make sure you were okay. Lashing out is common,” he stated confidently. He was so proper, it was like he was reading out of a flipping textbook.

“Yeah, no. I’m not any of that crap. You did your good deed for the day; you get a gold star. Now, if you could be so kind as to go away, that’d be great.” He wouldn’t stop smiling and it was really starting to get on my nerves. He hadn’t budged, so I got out of my chair and loomed over him as best I could. “Look, I don’t know what else I can say, but you’re seriously starting to piss me off. Shove off before I make you,” I threatened. He needed to know I was serious. I wasn’t planning on shoving some kid who was half my age just because he was annoying, but it was tempting.

“How about you just tell me something that’s bothering you and we can talk through it?”

“Okay, fine. I’m frustrated by people who can’t stop pestering strangers and asking stupid questions. There was this one time, I was at the library and some kid wouldn’t leave me alone for hours and they never found his body. The end,” I finished pointedly. I could tell that he was getting uncomfortable, but he just sat there.

“That was a strange story. I don’t think you’re going to murder me though, so I’m not worried. You’re deflecting. That’s when someone avoids serious stuff by not being serious and changing the topic or avoiding questions.”

“Great. Awesome. You caught me. I guess I’ll deflect somewhere else now.” Before he could comment, I grabbed my bag off the floor and headed out toward the front of the library. It wasn’t worth it to get in a fight with some kid who wanted to play therapist. When I got outside, I realized it had started raining. There hadn’t been any news about rain, but that wasn’t surprising. The weather here majorly sucked. I sighed, thinking about if it would be better inside than out here, dealing with the rain. I heard someone behind me, clearing their throat. Even without turning, I knew who it was. He was holding out a small, folded up, yellow umbrella.

“I had an extra one in my bag. You never know, right?” He asked. The ridiculous grin was back and my desire to smack his face was also back. I grabbed it anyway. He was going to be annoying until I took it and I didn’t want to get soaked. Kids could be ridiculous sometimes….


And there you have it! Prompt – complete. Story time dance moves? Probably not, but we all know that I’ve got the moves. You don’t get to see them though, because this is not a vlog, but you can imagine it and that’s good enough right?

For the story, I wanted to write from both perspectives in depth, but I spent way too much time working out Jayne’s character development and didn’t develop Mattias as much as I could have. Jayne didn’t come naturally to me, so I kept writing from his side, hoping to get a good flow going. I think it turned out better than expected! Feel free to comment, critique, and ask questions. My next content post will be on Thursday for the weekend’s assignment, but I might try and sneak something in on Wednesday too.

If you guys did your stories, feel free to message me the answers to your questions or your interactions – I’d be happy to read them. For now, I’m off! See you Wednesday and/or Thursday!

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